they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
