she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
