Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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