her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
