You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize