I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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