24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In other news, I just burned my penis
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
