i think my mom watched the whole time
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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