woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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