now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
