I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
