grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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