I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize