What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
