I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
