forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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