Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
