Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
