I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
