What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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