And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
