What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
