Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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