3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We are two peas in an std pod
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
