Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
