i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
