Screwed.edu
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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