is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
