I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
