i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
