I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
