Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
