Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize