im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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