Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
