we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
