If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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