I'm really into asian looking animals
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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