We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
