I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
