my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize