Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
