I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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