false alarm. still invincible.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
