i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My dick has a subreddit
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
