I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
