So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
