look no pants
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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