I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
