2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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