We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
