Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
