first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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