my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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