just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm both gender and math confused
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize