I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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