Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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