Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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