I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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