Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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