I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
