i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
