who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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